Thursday, February 26, 2009


This morning I dragged myself out of bed for the 5:30 Cardio blast class at the gym. It took every ounce of my being to make it there.

I get there and there is a sub teaching the big deal. During warm ups, I start thinking to myself, I think she is making this up as she goes along. Seriously, I felt like I was doing Richard Simmons moves, but you know we all seemed to go with it.

We have about 10 minutes left in class and we had worked on the major muscle groups. She has us sit on the resistance balls and start bouncing up and down. I AM NOT KIDDING. She totally was buying time. We were doing jumping jacks, sitting on the ball…um yeah. So wish I had a picture of that!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009


2 posts in one day...what's up with that?

If you live in KC, have you been outside today? Seriously open the windows and GET OUTSIDE. Beautiful. Amazing how a little sunshine and warmer temps can change your mood. If I only I could have a QT Diet Pepsi with crushed ice.

Ran this afternoon... 3.24 miles.

Ash Wednesday

I am Catholic. Actually I'm a convert. I was raised Southern Baptist.

My family attended church pretty regularly until I was in about 6th grade. During middle school and high school our attendance was very sporadic. When I was in high school, I became intrigued with the Catholic Church. I have an uncle who is Catholic (married into the family) and friends that were Catholic and I just wanted to know more. I had a feeling that as an adult I would become Catholic but no experiences to really justify that feeling. In college, I had a roommate that was Catholic and I went with her to mass and I was amazed. I felt the presence of God, like I never had. Then I met and fell in love with a Catholic boy. Early in our courtship we started going to Church (the Catholic church). We discussed our religions and what would happen should we end up married. I told him right then and there I wanted to attend a Catholic church and agreed that we would raise our children to be Catholic. I hadn't quite commited to converting. Shortly after we were married I started the RCIA process.

Lent is one of my favorite times of year. I will admit, that I have failed in past years to identify a true sacrifice or incorporate any activity that would grow my relationship with God. Trying hard this year to incorporate some changes, so here is my list:

**No Diet Pepsi - Some people may think this is not a sacrifice, but people you don't know me. I love my Diet Pepsi...the thought of not having it kind of makes me nauseous.

**Work out 5 times a week - I was doing this before the miscarriage, but I've had a hard time getting on track. Working out is great not only for what it does for me physically, but how it empowers me mentally.

**Incorporate family activity focusing on this season. So I haven't quite figured this one out, but I'm thinking along the lines of attending Stations of the Cross or saying the rosary as a family or family prayer time.

May you experience Blessings and growth this Lent!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

So, not much to say or share. This weekend was busy, busy with lots of basketball playing for Mac. Three games this weekend but it was worth it to see his team when their league championship. Mac played awesome!

Last night we were all up late watching the Jayhawks beat the OU Sooners. At some point I'll detail our love for the KU Jayhawks. We are all feeling it today/tonight. Feeling very unmotivated. All I want to do is curl up in bed with a book and the TV on (even though we don't have a TV in our room) and just conk out. Do you think it's possible to get the boys into bed in the next 30 minutes? Yeah...probably not! :)

I ran yesterday felt good and awful all at the same time.

More later....

Friday, February 20, 2009

Showing the Love

A sign that my hubby loves me and knows what makes me happy.

A Route 44 Diet Vanilla Coke....AHHH!!! (And might I add, without even asking!)

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Dear Doctor

Dear Doctor,

You and your staff are wonderful, however I would like to provide you some suggestions:

Could you please put some other magazines besides Conceive and Baby magazines in your waiting room. For a woman who has just suffered a miscarriage, these are the last thing I want to read.

I somewhat appreciate the statistic that 25% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. Yet I'm not sure if that makes me feel better or worse. I'm not sure how I feel about hearing, 'it's obvious you can have healthy children,' either. I do realize that one probably doesn't really know what to say in these situations. I do appreciate you trying to console and provide hope.

Your front desk help needs a raise! SERIOUSLY! They are hasseled over and over for your financial policy, you should try sitting in the waiting room for an hour and half and then you'd see where I'm coming from.

Your patient,


Saturday, February 14, 2009

Valentine's Day

How was your valentine's day?

Our started with a few of these

This (um...the first in 12 years)

Watching the first half of the KU vs KState game! (ROCK CHALK JHAWK! Thanx hawks for pulling out a victory in Manhattan. )

Of course a little hoops (tournament time, Mac's team won their game and they will be playing next weekend.)

And finally, a date night. (Sorry no picture we were headed to an ugly sweater party and Jay was pretty adamant about not getting a picture.)

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


Charlie is Mr. Independent. Love him dearly. I lay out his PJs last night and he comes running out like this.

I say, "Charlie, your underwear is supposed to go on first, then your pj bottoms."

Charlie says, "It's okay Mommy, I like it like this."


Monday, February 9, 2009


I've spent the last 2 weeks trying to process what happened with the pregnancy/miscarriage. A couple things to note (in no particular order):

1. I HATE that what happened is referred to as an abortion. As a person who is adamantly against abortion it completely irks me that medically it is how it's notated on my discharge papers. This WAS NOT MY CHOICE!!!

2. I HATE that you feel as though you shouldn't tell people at the early stages of pregnancy because many pregnancies are lost in the first trimester. But by not telling people, it's like acknowledging that it didn't happen or it wasn't real. When in fact it was very real, and the pain and loss you feel when you lose the pregnancy, even if it was only 8 weeks is very real.

3. Then because you haven't really told anybody, you feel weird telling people now...but now is when you need love, support and prayers the most.

4. Everyone handles grief differently. There is no right or wrong way.

5. I'm asking Why a lot...I know that my God loves me, he created me, he sacrificed his perfect Son for me. Not to sound like a freak, but when I close my eyes and I see Jay and I in that ultrasound room, I see Jesus standing behind the table with his arms spread out, as though he is praying for us, holding us together. I believe that things happen for a reason. So what am I supposed to take from this...
"Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. " 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

6. Brownies are not my friend. Yes you are delicious. I think you will make me feel better, but you don't because now I feel gross that I have eaten you and your cohorts without abandon.

7. I love my husband.

8. My boys are awesome.

Friday, February 6, 2009


Yesterday was B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L! It was 60 degrees here, which is a treat here in the MidWest in the beginning of February. After school, the boys and I ventured to the park. Here are some pics:

Thursday, February 5, 2009


While taking his bath, Charlie says to me:

"Mommy, you look like a princess."


Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Is this typical?

Mac has been playing on two basketball teams. It wasn't something that we planned it was just two opportunities that we felt would be good for Mac and he was willing to participate in both teams. We were on our way to practice tonight, when I asked Mac if he was getting tired of Basketball, all the practices and the games. (He practices 4 nights a week and usually he has 2 games a weekend.) He said a little bit, but that he enjoyed but he knew he missed opportunities, like going to friends house after school, but it was ok.

Seriously that is the verbiage he used..."missed opportunities" all 9 year olds think and talk like that?

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Hitting the Trails

Today I ventured on my first run in 3 weeks. Yeah, I didn't really hit the trails, more like the treadmill. It felt good. The last week I have eaten whatever I wanted. Food is comfort for me, but it doesn't work it just makes me feel worse because now I feel like a fat ass. So it felt good... Hopefully this the beginning to digging myself out of this hole and getting myself on track, to hitting the pavement (or treadmill), to treating this body that God gave me, the way it should be treated.

Today's results:
35 minutes
3.51 miles

85 Years and Counting

Can you imagine being 85? What stories you would have to tell…all that you have seen and experienced in 85 years. We got to celebrate my Grandpa’s 85th birthday this weekend. My Grandpa Miller is my last grandparent living yet you would never know he’s 85. He exercises and works at his church every day, volunteers at the community food bank and is as opinionated as I can remember. (I mean that in a good way :)

Happy Birthday Grandpa!

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Be still my heart

This little dude.

He captured my heart the moment we met. It took us 3 1/2 years to get him, but he was definetly worth the wait. He will be 4 in May. I can NOT believe it. While he brings us challenges that his brother never did, his humor, zest for life and laughter are so good for our souls. He is our funny guy, strong headed independent soul.

Love you Char Char!