you know i should be in bed. today i was up early and made it to the gym (2 days in a row, i don't want to jinx myself, but maybe i'm on a roll) and tomorrow will be an early morning. yet i have an energy, not to do anything productive but to waste my time. i'm still compiling my 2009 year in review video. truth be told, i'm just working on the music piece. i just can't find the perfect piece, maybe i'm trying too hard. i love watching the pictures. i'm amazed again at how much the boys changed in a year. i'm amazed at how our simple life creates such memories. i love it.
the one year anniversary of my miscarriage is coming up. i can't believe it. i've been thinking about it a lot lately. i can't believe it's been a year. today, as i was driving home, i thought about heaven. i believe that when we go to heaven we will see and know those that we love, our friends, family. today, i wondered if i would know the one that would have been my child. i pray that he/she would have known how much i would have loved him/her. i know i was stressed about the what ifs, but i would have loved him/her so much. today there was a box of infant formula on our doorstep. what does that mean? i wish i wasn't always analyzing, i wish my mind would just stop every once and awhile.
i love this idea.
training for my next 1/2 marathon. most likely cara and i will be running the st.louis 1/2 in april. that could explain making the gym 2 days in a row. my goals: finish in less than 2 hours, have fun and have fun.
we're having crazy weather. so much fog what is up with that. at least it's warmed up. i don't deal with below freezing very well.