36

Thirty Six...thirty six...wow is it true? I'm only 4 years from forty? Yes...today is my birthday...it really feels like another day. We haven't done a very good job, Jay and I celebrating the day of our births...making it a big deal. We do a good job celebrating the Boys...but not so much ourselves. I think it all started out to save some money...and if there are things we truly want we usually go get them ourselves. Regardless, it's something I'm trying to remedy for at least Jay, i can't throw my own party right.

It was a good day...church...lunch @ 54th Street...an afternoon movie mostly uninterrupted...restful...

I kind of like thinking of my birthday as my new years eve. Reflecting on the year past, thinking ahead to the new year. I feel like I'm learning more and more about myself as I gracefully age, at least i hope it's graceful. One thing is that i can't have quiet, for when it's quiet the conversation in my head is non stop. All of this to say I haven't really thought too much about my goals for this year, so when I solidify them I'll post them here. For now, I'll recap 35. 35 you were good and bad, but i know I'm blessed, beyond measure.

1. first to mind is the miscarriage. really struggling emotionally this month. perhaps i use it as a crutch and instead of addressing the real problem, i blame my emotional state on the fact that the baby would have been born this month. Has it really been 9 months?
2. piano lessons...i finally did it. i took a little break as a result of the basement redo that forced my piano into the garage. we brought her back into the house tonight and it was like riding a bicycle. Oh man...so happy to have you home. i should really name her
3. my first 1/2 marathon. i still can't believe i did it. besides bearing 2 children it's the second thing I'm most proud of
4. Consciously trying to live in the moment. some moments are definitely better than others...but really trying.
5. creating memories...not just through things but through experiences. we really accomplished a lot on our summer list. I'll try to post the results in the next couple of days but I'm really proud of us. it wasn't always easy, but we did it and it was worth it.

I will wrap this post up. It's getting late and I know this will be an emotional week..Charlie starts preK tomorrow and Mac heads to 4th grade at a new school. Praying for peace and that we find our way and sense of community with this new school. :)

To wrap up...Thank you 35...overall you were good to me. Watch out 36...here I come.